Pressure to Prove
A thought just struck me mid meditation.
Pressure to prove.
The word hit me like a tonne of bricks.
What am I trying prove? And to whom?
To the government?
From my new self to my old self?
It has been quite a time of "proving" lately. Proving my eligibility for settled status aka proving all addresses I have ever lived at in the UK. Proving my employment status. Proving my eligibility for financial support from the government by proving my eligibility as a viable business. Proving myself as a self employed yoga teacher so that well I can teach people and pay my bills, Proving my new self to my old self by continually releasing old beliefs about myself.
It can be so tiring and at times made me question "Am I enough?" or "Am I worthy?" and then I thought, everything I have listed is external. My place of work. My home place. My financial status. My offering to the world in my teaching. And more. They are all things that can and will go away. Then come back. Shifting and changing just like the seasons.
What would happen if we looked a little deeper. Deep within in our inner resources. Or inner knowing. Our inner capacity for deep love and joy. What would happen then? Would we still feel the need to prove as much? Maybe. Maybe not.
I guess this is a train of thought I landed on today and I wanted to share it. There is a time for proving/doing and a time for being. I guess I have had quite enough time in the doing and am reaching for being. Being in the moment. Being in my body. Being in the deep well of love and joy and whatever else I have inside.
You are magic after all.
And you don't need to prove that.
It just is.