Sitting down to write a blog has been a dream of mine for a very long time. I have notebooks filled to the brim with blog like entries. I even have a few draft blog posts saved on my laptop from 2017.
So today's the day.
First blog of 2021.
In order to start writing about easing into 2021, I'm going to back track a little to this time last year.
10th January 2020.
I was frazzled. Anxious. Had many a blue feeling day. And this was pre-corona time.
I knew something had to change and it had to change fast. Cue world wide pandemic in March. Within the space of 24 hours, all of my work as it was, ended. I packed up my life, hastily booked flights and high tailed it back to Ireland as quick as humanly possible. It was chaos. I spent the next 11 weeks hibernating with my mammy. Only really getting dressed to teach online yoga. Staring at Netflix for hours on end. Opening the blinds and often swiftly closing them once more. Eventually I started to emerge from the fog. The sky seemed a little prettier every day. My breakfast more inviting. My yoga mat called me for me own practise, not just to teach. I made the decision to come back to Edinburgh and I slowly starting rebuilding.
What happened in those months to get me to today was something magical. Amongst the Corona panic, I began to find my way back to myself. I learned that my alone time is essential. I learned how to be a badass boss. I learned how to articulate my thoughts into words so that those around me could understand me better. I found home.
After a very different but oh so welcome Christmas break, I began to ease myself into 2021. Well, when I say eased, I really mean I dunked myself in Wardie Bay for all of 10 seconds to welcome the 1st of January! Apart from the initial dunking, the softness I entered this year is like no other. I didn't rush out onto the tracks, all guns blazing while declaring to the world "THIS WILL BE MY YEAR!"
Instead I spent time outside marvelling at the ever changing Edinburgh weather. I restarted my daily journaling ritual beginning on the 1st of January. It marked Day 1 of 365. I decided to ACTUALLY stick to app limits I have set on my phone because offline living is more important than filling my newsfeed. I returned to the teachers mat and it has truly been a joy to see my students once again. And tonight I am starting a 30 Day Cacao Journey with the wonderful Sam (@the.wildest.dreamer).
10th January 2021.
I am relaxed. Settled. And this is all during lockdown number 5000.
As I continue to move into January 2021 and beyond, I will continue to look inwards first. I will continue to figure out what daily rituals I want to integrate into my life. I will continue to bask in being when the time is right and I will continue to move into doing when the time is right. I will continue to have days off work every week. I will continue to extend a dose of kindness towards myself when things get a bit shitty.
"not everything you do has
to be self-improving
you are not a machine
you are a person
your work can never be full
your mind can never be nourished."
- always evolving
Poem by Rupi Kaur